Queen's Blade Championship
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New Beginning

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Re: New Beginning

Post by Rocky Hogan on Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:49 am

Firstly your DNA is wolf right? maybe instead of man you should use Dark/shadowy figure until you reveal your name?

Also it might be a good idea because your not human to describe what you look like. For example:

A dark plain is shown, a shadowy figure can be seen then it brightens up and a huge stocky figure is seen sitting in the middle of the road, as the light hits its face you can see that it is not human as his face is covered with fur. With features resembling a wolf the beast does not move, behind him are ruins and blood splattered everywhere.

Just a suggestion. but apart from that its a good starting point. I am happy to help with structure if needed.
Rocky Hogan

Posts : 49
Join date : 2013-11-04

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Re: New Beginning

Post by Guest on Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:51 am

Edited ok thanks, but it is just the start will finish rest of it later


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